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| God, I dreamed there was an angel
Who could hear me through the wall
As I cried out, like, in Latin “This is so not life at all
Help me out, out of this nightmare.”
Then I heard her silver call
She said, “Just give it time, kid. I come to one and all.”
She said, “Give me that hand, please, and the itch you can’t control.
Let me teach you how to handle all the sadness in your soul.
Oh, we’ll work that silver magic,
Then we’ll aim it all the wall.”
She said, “Love may make you blind, kid, but I wouldn’t mind at all.” | | |
| It seems that this new virus that I have contracted is conspiring to be the death of me.
All that I've managed to swallow today is a bottle of grape juice, a hunk of cheese, and half of a biscotti. Yesterday wasn't much better. | | |
| We're having our first storm of the season. It's coming down in droves, and according to weather.com, winds are from 30-50 mph. Damn. All the leaves that are still on the trees will be down soon. Thank God, I was beginning to wonder when we'd get an environment resembling Californian winter. It must be global warming! :P
I love the rain. I've been staring out my window all day, through the drops on the glass, and spying patterns and anomalies. It's absolutely inspiring. I want to paint, I want to write, I want to be! I walked outside to get the mail earlier, and I was getting rained on UNDER my patio roof. The envelopes were completely soaked through, too.
My doctor still won't let me play, as my coach becomes more and more frustrated. As are my parents, as they have to pay for the medical bills, as our insurance cut out again. And I'm going to stop using the word "as", as it is one letter off from "ass".
Winter Workshop was amazing. Not that anyone who reads this Xanga went, but I really regret not opening up to my group more. We were sharing about our lives in a TWO HOUR group meeting, and I totally skimmed over Phil's problems. Last night, I realized that I really, really don't want him to die. I love him too damn much. I wish I didn't, but watching him kill himself through drugs and alcohol is going to be unbearable. I've got to find a way to stop him, to help him. I'm missing Melanie like crazy, as well.
As for New Year's Resolutions, I've been thinking without conclusive improvements. But, I'd like to learn to live for the sake of others. And get my body in a state where it is in unity with my mind. (That's my way of saying "Lose weight.") ;) Looking back at last year's resolutions, I managed to fufill a few. Let's see...
--Lose weight. FAIL.
--Write more. FAIL.
--Be wild. Go out instead of sitting at the computer. FAIL.
--Try to like my siblings. SUCCESS! I love them more than anything, now. :)
--Be less hypocritical. SUCCESS! ...Sorta.
--Procrastinate less. UBER-FAIL.
This year will be better. I promise. | | |
| He likes me.
I hate when I'm right. | | |
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